Forged in Fire...

What a crazy weekend. So many highs and lows. So many extremes. Let me tell you about some of them.

As you can imagine, Friday was effing terrible. I tied up the last few loose ends with my recent ex and went home for a lonely night in. I watched a sad movie and that was cathartic. It opened up all of the ugly wounds and I cried like a fool. Those deep, convulsive, wracking cries. Just horrible. My heart was breaking. The dog, she left the room, sick of it.
But as bad as that was, it really helped me to work out some of this. And like throwing up, as soon as it was done, I felt better. I know that there will be some scary moments ahead of me, dealing with losing this person. I know that sometimes it'll sneak up on me in a back alley and I'll be freshly hurt all over again. But for now, I've had some release, so that was good. I guess.

Saturday, a new friend woke me up and demanded that I get dressed and come to lunch. It was cold and drizzly outside, which matched the way that I felt, inside. But my new friend wasn't having any of it. She kept things light. We didn't talk about the break-up at all. Mainly, she talked and I listened. She spotted a friend, who joined us for lunch and they talked and I enjoyed a sinfully good cheeseburger.
At the end of lunch, we visited her house and she picked up some things to take to the cleaners. I tagged along, with nothing better to do.
It was her idea to go buy gin and tonic. And we did. We came home and met Joe and our friend, Elsie. We all drank gin and tonics and played Yahtzee. I stomped them, people. On our second game, I got three separate Yahtzees. Joe just got up, ripped his scoresheet to shreds and went outside for a smoke. It was hilarious.
My new friend boogied on out, for dinner with some other folks. But before she left, I hugged her and thanked her for the support. People have been so supportive this weekend, calling and offering to take me out. And I've been resistant to almost all of them. I feel guilty for accepting help for something dumb, like this. But this new friend was so insistent and she turned out to be right. She turned the whole weekend around and I was and am, grateful. She's a funny gal.

(And before you ask, there's nothing going on there. She fancies a pal of mine. I hope she gets him. They would make a good couple. Let's hope he figures that out soon and pursues her. They both deserve to be happy.)

Saturday night, I hooked up City of Heroes on my computer, again. After a 5 1/2 month absence. So much had changed in-game. I love it, though. I've enjoyed my time back in the game. I tried out almost all of my characters, once I got back in and had a blast with them. I can't wait to give old, Captain Space, a test run again. He's my level 32 character (the highest I've ever had.) Playing him is like taking a new corvette out for a weekend drive on a cool, sunny, Spring day. With the sun-roof down. Smooth. Elegant. Powerful. You can see why I've been saving him for a drive. I'm sure that'll happen, later this week.

I slept in today and that felt good. My bedroom has been very, very cold lately. That's what I get for waiting until NOVEMBER to pull my air conditioning unit out of the window. (Took care of that tonight, by the way. I expect to sleep better, this evening.)

I played a little COH today and then got ready for my 2:30 audition. I'm auditioning for a 1940s style New Years Eve radio show. The concept appeals to me, endlessly. I've always been in love with that era. Love the look of the time. Love the un-self conscious goofiness of the era. Love it all.

I think I had a GREAT audition. The auditors were happy to see me there and were just nice as could be, to me. I felt ridiculously comfortable there with them. And I got laughs on my song choice and on most of my readings. (Which is unusual. I'm usually a terrible auditionee. My hands shake and I feel the pressure.)I walked out of this audition thinking, "I literally could not have done any better." I just hoped that it was what they were looking for.

Rehearsal with Stinger was really wonderful. It was one of those rehearsals where everyone is in a great mood and is willing to try ANYTHING. I threw out wild, crazy initiations and they ran with them. I didn't feel any dampers on me at all. And once the team took an idea from me and ran with it, we came up with some brilliant scenes. I think we could've charged an audience to watch us rehearse. It was that smart. I felt like I couldn't do anything wrong out there and I feel 100% that it's because of my excellent team, that I felt that. They're rockstars. It was one of those rehearsals that ends WAY too early.

At rehearsal, I got the call from the 1940s show producer. I got cast. I'll be playing the "big, knucklehead comedic character." I'll be doing dialects aplenty. (Which is fine by me. I LOVE doing big, fat, ridiculous dialects.) I also have a love interest in the show. A sexy French gal. Which is funny. I never "get the girl" in shows. That'll be exploring new territory onstage. I look forward to working with this young lady to make the experience a pleasure for us both. (I vaguely know her and already like her. Hopefully that'll all work to our advantage onstage.)

Yes, so that was a huge high, getting that part. The first show that I've auditioned for since college, really. And I got it. So, that was A LITTLE BIT of an ego boost. (You can start sucking up to me now, to get my single comp ticket. Assuming that you don't have New Years Eve plans and are in the Chicago metro area. Sorry, Bran. You'd be my first pick, otherwise!)

Tonight, I came home and enjoyed a quiet dinner alone, watching "Harry Potter 4: This Shit's Magical!" on HBO. I played a little COH, killing many robots, so THAT was fun. Eventually, I checked email and then started this blog entry.

I wanted to capture here that the weekend was an odd one for me. Started off very, very bad for me. Just fucking terrible. The worst. And then someone made it better and then someone else made it even better. And then my teammates, my wonderful teammates made it even better than that and then I got cast in a show and now, now, I finally sign off and bid you a Good Night and Sweet Dreams.

For those of you who said, "It will be okay," just know that you were right. And for now, it is okay.

Laying Head to Pillow,
Mr.B

PS. Joe has just informed me that a friend of ours is going to come clean our kitchen and bathroom, next weekend. IN HER UNDERWEAR. I didn't catch the specifics of how he brokered that deal, but that's the end result. Sexy gal in my kitchen, washing Joe's dirty dishes. For a very reasonable price.
Me? I remain skeptical. I'll believe it when I see it. And if it DOES happen and she DOES come clean our apartment in her skivvies, I'll be the first to thank her, opened beer in hand.
I hope she does good work, mopping. Our floors need a good mopping.


(Oh yes, this picture is absolutely autobiographical. Superman walking through a scorching, blazing Hell to emerge stronger on the other side. Yes. This is how I feel right now.)